Wings of desire

Why can't i get what i desire?
Why must the powers that be always have to shove the sweetest of the lollies in my mouth and say "Stop whining and lick it, and tell me when you finish. I'll get you another one."
Why?
Why do i have to be content with what life gives me?
Why can't life give me what I want,
instead of trying to pacify me with the things that i can't care less about?
I don't like the sweetest, the costliest, the fairest.
No, i don't want them.
I want, what I want.
Is that too much of a desire?
Why should i be contented with what life gives when i never asked for it gave?
Why is it that every time i like something, it is snatched away and am told that i can have anything but that?
No, please, I only want that.
Nothing else please.
Take back what you have given and grant me what i desire.
Please give me what I want...please....

Love Is?

Only of 12 when I realised I was in love. Had somebody asked me then what it meant to be in Love, I would have answered, "mmmmmmmmmm...well I know what it means but, mmmmm...just give me some time,...... ya, it means...... LOVE" :) . What the hell!! How can one describe something as abstract as - love!!
Well, I never gave up on the answer. 10 years on, this is what I could muster;
Love means, being at peace with oneself. The world it seems is waiting with open arms to embrace you, to cuddle you. The grass appears greener, on your side for a change. The patches of white clouds in the sky seem to adorn the blue sea of atmosphere. The summer sun feels ever so refreshing, the spring breeze brings to you the scent of her presence in your life. The moonless nights seem glittering with stars - reminding you of her twinkling smile. Its in Love that one can hear the song in the whistle of the birds, feel the spring in the step, the zing in the voice.
Its the only time when you love everything about you and your life. Its Love that lets you understand the most demure thoughts of your beloved without an utterance of a word. Its a bond that binds two souls. Its this bond that brings one back to his roots after years of being a vagabond. Its this bond that penetrates time and space to hold the two together. Its that bond which no human or artificial intelligence can simulate.
Love, is God's last laugh on us - mere puppets of His, who are on the pursuit of emulating the Creator Himself.

Keeping up with Life

Life strutted past as I stood and watched.
She looked over her shoulder once,
Only to find me grappling to keep pace.
I ask, "Why don't you go slow?"
She retorts, "Why cann't you keep up with me?"
And She marched on, no time to breathe.
I frown, wonder whats the hurry all about
All she has to do is die someday!
May be only then would I be ahead of her
When She's no more there to lead me.

When She won't be there
To lead me into the pitfalls of shame,
Into the dungeons of failure,
The darkness of gloom,
The vacuum of loneliness,
The vastness of the night,
As also,
To the freshness of the dawn,
The babble of the stream,
The rustle of the Westerlies.
Just as She led me
To the purity of glory,
The chastity of redemption,
The depths of humility,
The breadths of integrity,
The multitude of smiles,
The engulfing hugs,
The everlasting dreams,
The realisation of self-worth.

And then, I start running after Her again.
To be with her for as long as she's there for me -
To usher me into the unseen world,
To reminisce the halycon moments with Her,
To hug Her,
To love Her,
like never before.

romancing egocentricism

Do u know me?? I don't think so...do i know myself?? i hope so...have been on many a self-discovery journeys and each tym i've realised i hardly new me...y?? i'm the only person with whom i've spent every second of my life and still i strive to know me...does anyone know me better than me?? naah...not possible, coz i've never been the real me with anybody till now and am yearning to let my self be known to someone...is that u?? may be, may be not?? i don't know either....i've tried to figure out but have scarcely been able to decipher wat lay within my deepest desires...wat do i desire?? have u ever felt the same? or is it only me among the billions who is so utterly confused?? y am i so different from the rest, or is it that i think that i am?? i really do believe i'm not the same as any other who toils the Mother Earth...i am me and i've always been that way - despised everything that others craved, desired everything which no one cared to spare a glance at.

I prefer to spell my name rather than say it, saving the audience from the trouble of figuring it out...my name has over the years been everything that even remotely sounded like it - from the girly soumya to the disgustingly obese sumo to the one rhyming with homo (read s in place of h)...

Always able to mingle in a crowd than standing out of it...i am wat you want me to be...i may not be the real me the next time u talk to me but that doesn't imply that i'm cheating on you, i'm being a bit defensive here but i guess i have the right to defend myself in this space...its only a characteristic that i possess - adaptation to the environment...may be i do this so that i don't get spotted as a blob amidst the vastness of the multitude...but that doesn't mean i don't like being attended to...certainly not...my idea of attention is being spotted by the one i want to be noticed by else its not of much good to me....i am how i feel at that moment, never bothered abt wat others have to say...prolly my sense of individuality is a bit too intense to be passed as individuality and hence that comes across as arrogance...but i'm hardly so, though i won't care to correct u if u don't matter to me...u r entitled to ur opinion - my sense of democracy.
i know wats gud and and bad so, never bother to advise me on that front - won't give a damn...wat i consider as correct need not be so in absolute terms but it is for me to decide and that way i never brood over my past mistakes bcoz i don't have anyone else to blame for it other than me, which is perfectly fine with me as long as i realise that my level of maturity at the time i took the decision wasn't competent enough...this to me is a learning experience - some one had said - you learn from your mistakes and not from your achievements....but wat if i claim to differ...wat i've learnt from my better times is wat i can do and from the not too good ones is wat i cann't...and both of which are equally important so as to have a decent estimate of oneself...
The complications in the complexities of who i am has perplexed all...has is it done the same to u as well??
but, i wud love to be understood and be loved the way i am...are u ready to try and understand me and love me???